“I only wish we’d come sooner. Helen & Douglas House offers so much more than people realise."
A story told by Donna, Cara-Jo's Mum
When my daughter Cara-Jo was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer at just 13, my whole focus was on keeping life as normal as possible for her. Looking back now, there is one thing I wish I had done differently: I wish we had come to Helen & Douglas House sooner.
Cara-Jo was a happy, outgoing teenager who loved football, holidays and spending time with family and friends. She was a huge Arsenal fan and had never really been ill before she was diagnosed with high-grade metastatic osteosarcoma in September 2025.
Despite the devastating news, Cara-Jo faced everything with remarkable courage. When we were told there was no cure and the prognosis was poor, she cried, phoned her best friend, and then just got on with it.
When we got home, she looked at me and said: “Mum, nothing’s changed. I want to be normal.” And that’s exactly what she tried to do.
Facing treatment together
Cara-Jo started intensive chemotherapy almost immediately. The treatment made her very unwell, but her determination never wavered.
I remember her saying to me: “Mum, I can’t do this chemo anymore, but I know I have to.”
Over the following months, we spent long periods in and out of hospital. During this time, Helen & Douglas House was mentioned several times as a place that could help with symptom management and support. But like many families, we struggled with the idea of a hospice.
When we had first heard of Helen & Douglas House, we both thought it meant end of life. Even though everyone explained it was about support and symptom management, that fear stayed with us.
The outreach team were incredibly understanding. They visited us at home, listened to our worries and never put any pressure on us. Eventually, after Christmas, we agreed to come for a short stay.
A place that felt like home
In January 2026, we walked through the doors of Helen & Douglas House not knowing what to expect. We were anxious it might feel like hospital, but from the moment we arrived, everything felt different. It didn’t feel clinical at all – it felt like home.
For the first time in months, Cara-Jo was able to focus on being a teenager rather than a patient. She enjoyed shopping, baking, playing games and spending time with the staff. She even went on midnight walks around the garden with the night team because she was such a night owl. She loved it so much that she wanted to come back again. It was only after experiencing everything the hospice had to offer that I realised how much we had been missing.
“Looking back now, if I had known what Helen & Douglas House was really like, we would have gone sooner.”
There was so much she could have done there earlier. Being on one level would have made things easier for her physically, and there were so many opportunities to still live and enjoy things. But like with many people, that word “hospice” had stayed in our heads for far too long.
Cara-Jo returned to Helen & Douglas House on 2nd March 2026. Sadly, her condition deteriorated and she became too unwell to return home. Even during this incredibly difficult time, the team helped her remain herself. She spent time on her phone, watched YouTube, saw her friends and enjoyed precious moments with family. For me, one of the greatest gifts was being able to step away from the constant responsibility of caregiving.
“I could be her mum again – not just her carer.”
The medical side was taken care of, which gave me the space to focus on being with her and making the most of our time together. The team helped create a room that felt like home, filled with Cara-Jo’s favourite things, especially anything linked to Arsenal. Even when she became bedbound, they found ways for her to enjoy baking, watching football and spending time outdoors.
One of my favourite memories is when she met her hero, England and Arsenal player Alessia Russo through Make-A-Wish.
“Seeing her face that day was priceless and a memory I will never forget.”
Time together to say goodbye
Cara-Jo died peacefully at Helen & Douglas House on 19th March 2026, surrounded by the people who loved her. After she died, I was able to spend precious time with her, visiting whenever I wanted and creating keepsakes that I treasure today.
“Those five days made such a difference to me. It gave me time – time that I wouldn’t have had elsewhere.”
The support didn't stop there. I have continued to receive support from the bereavement team, helping me navigate life after losing my daughter.
Sharing Cara-Jo's story
I am sharing Cara-Jo’s story because I want other families to understand what support is available and not make the same mistake I did.
Before our first visit, I thought a hospice was only about end-of-life care. Now I know it is so much more than that. It is about living well, making memories, and giving families the chance to spend meaningful time together.
“I only wish we’d come sooner. Helen & Douglas House offers so much more than people realise. It’s not just about care at the end of life – it’s about living well, making memories, and supporting the whole family.”
I will forever be grateful that Cara-Jo spent her final weeks there – comfortable, supported, and still able to be herself. And if sharing her story helps another family reach out sooner, then that is exactly what she would have wanted.